Title: LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child
Author: Beth O’Malley
Summary: Simple and easy-to-follow; just what I needed to get this project started.

This book addresses a task which is fairly simple, but extremely emotional: make a book that describes your child’s life from birth through finalization of adoption into your family. A lifebook is like a scrapbook, only not focused on photos; like a baby book, only covering the tough topics with honesty; like a timeline, only in child-friendly terms. The thing which complicates this process is that you, the adoptive or foster parent, have to think about things you might rather avoid: birth parents’ importance to the child, incomplete information about their life before entering your family, and tough topics like abandonment, abuse, or neglect.

The author spends the first part of the book focusing on the “why” of this project, telling the reader how valuable these books are to adoptees, and how much benefit your child will get from this as they process adoption in their developmental stages. This part of the book was not as useful to me, because I was already “sold” on the value, I was just having trouble understanding exactly what was required and how to go about it.

Luckily, she spends the last two thirds of the book covering precisely these topics. She talks about overcoming your natural roadblocks such as “not enough time” or “I’m not creative,” and then she goes into a page-by-page description of what goes into the book. Each page has sample language that you can copy right into your book if it applies (I know I did!), and she has sample paragraphs written by adoption professionals to cover even the toughest topics in an honest, but age appropriate way. Finally, the book finishes with four sample lifebooks, reflecting various types of adoption (i.e. international, foster care, birth parent, and older child adoption).

This book was extremely valuable to me, because it made the task less overwhelming, without watering down the need for facing the hard parts. You can also sign up for monthly tips about lifebooks and adoption issues from the author.

Takeaway Points:

• Start with the child’s birth, continue through adoption finalization.
• Mention birthmother and birthfather, even if you have little information about them.
• Talk about the reasons for your child’s adoption (i.e. poverty, youth, abuse, neglect, etc.)
• Capture memories
• Should read like a story
• Know that it’s private, as opposed to a scrapbook which is eagerly shared.
• Focus on information, not pictures.
• Include facts about the child, not the parents.
• Make a strong visual focus on each page.